Drunk People Keep Stealing Paul Fisher Cardboard Cutouts From Bottle Shops But He’s Strangely Okay With It

by Ethan Davis February 02, 2022 2 min read

Theft is not a crime that we condone at Stab, unless it involves transplanting grub screws from a stingy friend using them to reinforce their click-in FCS 2’s, in which case, you are sparing them from ripping out the entire finbox to their own embarrassment. 

The other crime we will turn a blind eye to, is the inebriated theft oflife-sized ‘Hard Fizz’ Paul Fisher advertising boards for amusement purposes, a craze that has recently caught fire on social media accounts around the Gold Coast.

The cutouts are meant to serve as in-store advertisements for his seltzer brand, Hard Fizz, but instead, people are nicking off with the cardboard versions of the surfer-turned-DJ as a trophies for their successful heists.

“Someone told me it’s called, ‘Fishin’ for Fisher’ and I think that’s hilarious,” says Fish. “I’ve got no idea why anyone would want my mug at their joint but if it puts a smile on their face, I say happy days. I saw one vid where some poor bloke was trying to go the dunny and there’s me, just blocking the way.”

Fisher’s own mum even got done in by one of the cardboard cutouts at the shops, mistaking the display for her very real and three-dimensional child. “She was at Pacific Fair on the Gold Coast and thought I was just posing for a photo with a fan,” he said. “The woman gave birth to me – even from a distance, you’d think she’d know the real Fish from a bit of cardboard.”

Might be time for a weekend Fishing trip.

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